


Love Me Lose Me

by Cant_We_Just_Dance



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Angst, Barely Jeffmads, Breakups, Cheating, Drinking, M/M, Thomas makes a few mistakes, drunk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-04
Updated: 2017-08-04
Packaged: 2018-12-10 23:40:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,706
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11702271
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cant_We_Just_Dance/pseuds/Cant_We_Just_Dance
Summary: Thomas comes home one night, rather drunk and rather impatient.Alexander gets home the next morning and becomes rather shocked.





	Love Me Lose Me

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, this is @jamisahivemind from tumblr! Make sure to comment, kudos, and hang out with me on the hellsite!

The smell of alcohol was heavy on Thomas’s breath as he stumbled through the doorway of his and Alexander’s home drunkenly, his vision hazy. He slammed the door shut behind him, uncaring of the rather loud bang it made, the noise resonating through the house. He walked in as straight a line he could, which was rather crooked, due to his current state, and into Alexander’s office. **  
**

Alexander sat at his desk, hunched over his laptop and typing furiously, eyes shining with reflected light from the screen. The document that he was currently working on was nearly twenty pages long by now, each dark word on the digital paper having been written in rapid succession. This, of course, meant that Alexander had not left his at-home office in two days, as he was notorious for doing.

“Hey, Lex…” Thomas slurred, moving over to Alexander and resting his arms on top of the other man’s head, leaning over him. “Wanna come to bed? I’ll make it worth your while…”

“Hi, Thomas.” Alexander replied, not particularly caring about his boyfriend’s drunken state. “I have to work on this, I can’t come to bed. Maybe later? I have to have this done by next week, and I really don’t want to procrastinate on it.”

“You never procrastinate, Lex, you’re you,” Thomas said, leaning down to whisper in the other man’s ear. “If you come to bed, I can make you feel good, Lex. Really good… Come to bed, Lex…”

“No,” Alexander responded, not willing to put up with Thomas’s antics at this hour. “I have to work, and you know that. Go to bed without me. I need to do this.”

“Work, work, work, all you care about is work. Work can wait. You’re already so far along, why can’t you just come to bed, Le-”

“Thomas, no! I’m not going to come to bed, I’m not going to have sex with you, and I am not going to stop working! You need to understand that I have important things to take care of!” Alexander interjected, frustrated, and pulled his gaze away from the computer.

“So, I’m not important? Is that what you’re saying? You care more about your fucking work than you do about me? Huh?”

“Thomas…That’s- that’s not what I meant…” Alexander stuttered, attempting to clear up any misunderstandings caused by his poorly-chosen words.

“Then why’d you say it like it was?”

“Thomas, I just have more pressing issues than going to bed with you right now, it’s not personal, it’s just-”

“It’s just that you care so fucking much about your work. So much that you just forget about your boyfriend. That’s fine. Fucking great, even. I’ll just find someone else to share my bed with, then. I don’t need you.” He declared, turning around and leaving the room quickly, footsteps heavy against the wooden floor.

“Thomas, wait!” Alexander said hurriedly, realizing his mistake. “I didn’t mean-” He tried to explain, but was cut off by the front door slamming shut loudly. Alexander raced over to the door, and nearly collapsed as he watched Thomas step into a cab and be driven off, too late for Alexander to stop him.

He put his face in his hands and ran his fingers through his hair regretfully. He really fucked up this time, didn’t he? He could feel wet tears begin to trail down his face as the weight of the situation fully dawned on him. He had essentially told Thomas that he didn’t care about him, that some stupid report was more important than the man he loved… Yes, he really had fucked up.

* * *

Alexander drove up into the driveway nervously, looking up at the home he and Thomas shared amidst the pandemonium of the city. He parked the car, taking in a deep breath as he did so. He could do this. He could walk inside their home and beg for forgiveness. Thomas hadn’t come back home the previous night, and he’d been in meetings all day in a separate building, so Alexander was unable to try and speak with him. Then, to top it all off, Alexander had been forced to stay an extra three hours longer because of some new case that was barely worth the effort.

Stepping out of the car, he ascended the few stairs to their front door and closed his eyes, breathing slowly and opened the again, bringing his key up to unlock the door. When he reached for the doorknob, however, the door creaked open on its own, already unlocked and ajar. Alexander cautiously stepped over the threshold, shoving his keys back into his pocket.

He gently closed the door behind him, careful not to slam it, unlike Thomas had been the night before. He felt tears prick at the corners of his eyes as he remembered the harsh slam of the wooden door last night as Thomas stormed out when Alexander had told him…had told him that…that he…That wasn’t important at the moment. What was important was finding Thomas and apologizing. It didn’t matter if Alexander had to beg on his hands and knees.

Soft laughter sounded from their bedroom and Alexander lifted his head at the noise. Thomas must be in there, he thought, and headed towards the room. Pushing open the door, he felt his heart skip a beat as he took in the sight before him.

Thomas laid in bed next to his closest friend, James Madison, who was evidently more than Thomas’s close friend- at least, now he was. They were both fully undressed, laying in eachother’s arms beneath a thin blanket. The room was thick with the scent of sex and sweat, and Alexander nearly screamed as his mind processed the what he was seeing.

“Oh, Alexander!” Thomas noted boredly, as if it was a simple fact and not his boyfriend catching him cheating. “You’re home. I warned you, didn’t I?”

Alexander felt a tear trail down his face, still in shock. “Thomas, y-you-”

“I what?” Thomas asked condescendingly, cutting Alexander off. “I had amazing, mind-blowing sex with James? I had sex with someone else in our bed? I don’t really give a fuck if you’re crying or not? I’m just following up on my promise from last night? Because the answer to all of those is a definite yes, Alexander. I told you that I’d find someone else to share my bed with, so I did.”

“Thomas, what’s going on?” James asked, slowly emerging from the depths of sleep. “Why are you shouting?”

“Nothing, Jemmy, it’s nothi-”

“It’s not nothing!” Alexander interjected, eyes wet with tears. “You’re cheating on me, and you’re acting like it’s nothing! I trusted you, and I wanted to make things right, but apparently you don’t want to…”

“Why is Alexander here?” James asked, gaze switching between Thomas and Alexander as he sat up, pulling away from the other man. “You told me that you two had broken up, Thomas!”

“Then I guess he lied to you! We didn’t break up, and I get to come home to see my boyfriend cheating on me!” Alexander half-sobbed, half-shouted, not making any effort to hide his emotions.

“Thomas, you fucking bastard!” James yelled, leaving the bed as quickly as possible and pulling his boxers on. “You knew I wanted you, you fucking knew, and then you go and tell me that you and Alex broke up so that you can what? Cheat on your boyfriend with me? Get revenge for something miniscule? You fucking disgust me, Thomas. I’m leaving.” He said, pulling on his pants and grabbing his shirt, heading for the door and stopping as he looked at Alexander in front of him, sobbing heavily. “Alexander…I’m so sorry…” He muttered before leaving the room, and soon enough, the house.

Alexander stared at Thomas through blurry eyes, his cheeks stained with tears. The taller man lay in the bed, naked save for a sheet covering his waist and everything below it.“Thomas…” Alexander spoke softly, wrapping his arms around himself. “How could you do this to me?”

Thomas let his gaze fall on Alexander, focusing on him. “We had a fight. And it looks like I won, Alex.” He stated plainly, sitting up and resting his back against the headboard.

“Is this actually about that stupid fight, Thomas? I-I was going to make it up to you, was going to apologize and beg for you to talk to me again, even if it was just to tell me to go away. I couldn’t sleep last night, I was so upset at what you would say to me. Couldn’t imagine a life where you really despised me for what I did. Well, I could, but I didn’t want it, Thomas. Not ever.”

“Alexander, you said-”

“I hadn’t slept in three days! And you had been gone all day, I missed you, and I wasn’t thinking straight, and I was lashing out at you, and I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry.”

“I…I had no idea, Alex, I-”

“But I guess you aren’t, huh? You didn’t stay awake all of last night terrified that the your boyfriend would never love you again. I did that. You were off fucking James Madison. Why? Because you were mad?”

“Yes, Alex, but-”

“But nothing! You didn’t have a good reason for it then, and you sure as hell don’t have a good reason for it now! I’m leaving, Thomas. I’ll be back for my stuff later. Goodbye.”

“No, Alex, wait!” Thomas shouted, nearly jumping off the bed and grabbing onto Alexander’s wrist tightly. “Please, don’t leave me…I fucked up, I know I did, but please, Alex, I need you…” He begged, staring up at Alexander with wide, fearful eyes.

Alexander yanked his hand away from Thomas’s own, and stepped back, staring at Thomas with a look that could not be mistaken for anything other than pure spite as he spat, “You didn’t need me earlier. It looked more like you needed James.”

And with a pivot and a slamming of the door, Alexander was gone.

And Thomas was alone.

He would remain that way for quite some time, his only company being the sobs that echoed through the room.


End file.
